keeps forgeting this writing thing lol

Well i went to wi on Wednesday hoping for a sts after my very bad day last Friday and i lost 1.5 pounds this week was well happy and so was my leader as i had emailed her Saturday for some advice have been good since wi to but at this min i could easier go in the cupboard and eat everything but i will not well i hope i don't i have eat a ww bake well tart and a bag of 1.5 crisps and got a pepsi max so i should be ok i am out tonight for dinner a carvery so i will have enough points left for that but i will have no pubbing but will have something when i get home as in a bar of some sort i was thinking is there a reason i fine it hard to loss weight more then just wanting to eat maybe i reason in my head and the answer i came up with was maybe i don't want some one to like me and want a relationship with me cos i end up hurt and disappointed or could be that i am just ment to be big but i think its the other to be honest so if this is true how would i get over it